[via Barnes & Noble Book Blog]
If you’ve started to suspect that the drafty cathedral your family has called home for countless centuries may in fact be the setting of a bona fide gothic novel, here are 13 spooky ways to tell for sure:
1. Either there are no clocks in your house, or your house is filled with clocks…but they’re all set to different times.
2. Also, though you refer to it as “your house,” it’s actually one of the following: a dilapidated mansion, a moldering manor, or a crumbling castle with no plumbing to speak of. Also, the wind is always howling outside.
3. People around you are regularly tumbling dramatically down stairs and breaking all of their bones.
4. You can tell that things are starting to get kind of serious with the guy you’ve been seeing because he’s started talking about how you two are actually one person and how if you’re ever separated by death he will throw himself into your open grave and be buried alive with you. Also, you suspect that the two of you might be somehow related. Best not to dwell.
5. Flickering candles everywhere.
6. Three or more friends or family members have wasted away from mysterious fevers, but always looked great doing it.
7. Instead of watching TV, you plot revenge.
8. Every time you’re about to finally fall into bed with the long-term object of your obsession, a gust of wind ablows the French doors open, a candle gutters out, and one of you immediately begins to waste away from a mysterious fever.
9. Your living quarters are no great shakes, but you’ve noticed that going outside is somehow always a bad idea.
10. 20% of the meals served and eaten in your house are laced with some kind of drug or poison.
11. People are constantly being locked in their rooms or locking other people in their rooms without anybody ever batting an eye over it.
12. Most of the marriages of the couples around you were motivated by vengeance.
13. An attic without an insane person chained up in it for years just doesn’t have that lived-in feeling. Same goes for cellars, and the odd cupola.
Hey kids, as we approach Halloween I just wanted you guys to be careful and say DON’T FUCK WITH SPIRITS. Don’t mess with Ouija Boards, don’t talk to no dead people, don’t fuck with demons, don’t summon shit, don’t dick around in abandoned buildings. If you are considering a thing, just think, “would a white person in a horror movie do this thing?” If the answer is yes, then don’t do the thing.
Vladmir Nabokov describes it best: No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases it may be the desire for somebody of something specific, nostalgia, love-sickness. At the lowest level it grades into ennui, boredom.
more embroidered bread
why the fuck would you embroider bread
The embroidery or this bread is such an amazing design, but it saddens and angers me that its a slice of bread. There have been times in the last year that I would have loved to have had a slice of bread because sometimes we had money for food, but usually we had to go to those churches that give out free food and it was always hit and miss on whether that stuff was edible or not. And now about the fact that you have wasted such a beautiful design on something so temporary. I equate it to the disgust I feel towards yarn bombers that don’t clean up the beauty they have made and just leave it outside to rot. Everyday my hand feels numb or in pain just because I want to crochet or sew for a little while. Which makes the time I spend doing those hobbies very valuable to me. So, don’t waste food, don’t waste your hands, and regardless of your religious affiliations please don’t donate scented candles or packages of meat that have clearance stickers on them from Target to your local church’s food larder or food bank.
I was rummaging through some old things yesterday and I found this little library I bought for my dollhouse as a child. All it needs is a ladder and it would be a foreshadowing!